Yesterday, some of my friends and I went to Buchenwald, which was one of the main Nazi concentration camps, about 10 minutes outside Weimar. What an eerie and somber experience. It was the coldest day we've had on the entire trip, maybe 2 degrees above zero Fahrenheit. As I walked across the giant gravel square where all of the prisoners had to stand every morning for roll call, the cold sliced through my skin like needles and I thought "this doesn't even compare to how cold these people where." It made me lightheaded to think about.
After walking through the main gate and the first building, a prison, I entered the crematorium, by myself, which was a big mistake. The first room was where they performed medical experiments on the prisoners, they had a doctor's table and a bunch of really terrifying-looking instruments. I seriously felt like I was going to faint or throw up. Then I went inside the room where they actually shot the prisoners, and saw the hooks on the walls where they hung the
bodies to let the blood drip out. A small room off to the side held thousands of urns where their ashes were kept. I thought about skipping the room with the actually ovens, but I figured I'd already come this far, and I knew there would be other people in there so it wouldn't be so terrifying. It was chilling, but not as bad as the other rooms. They had a bunch of pictures, cards, poems, and other memorials to make the place less haunting. When I came out of there,
the freezing air hit my face and I realized I had tears stuck in the corners of my eyes. It's an experience I'm glad I have had, but it was really emotionally taxing. Afterwards, back at the hostel, Kate and I ate our kebabs in silence, then I took a nap and was okay after I woke up. It was our last night, so some friends and I went out to a bar later that night which was really fun and sorely needed.
I know we're taking a trip to Auschwitz when we return to Krakow at the end of the program, and after today I'm really wondering if I can handle another such experience. But I know I'll go, it's one of those once-in-a-lifetime things I suppose. I guess after today I have some sort of idea of the mental preparation I should do beforehand. I'll try to go in feeling calm and ready to reflect, always remembering that it's sort of my job as a world citizen in the 21st century to have this experience and keep telling the story.
